So Fast

The comment of “it all is happening so fast,” comes from family members I work with almost every day!  The “it” that comes so fast are the final physical changes that precede death.

The normal conversations and the usual daily routines or abilities to respond with words or eye contact stop as people are literally at the end of their life.  They become unresponsive.  This phase of dying is called “actively dying.”

Life as you know ceases, and the losses of conversation and interaction can go really fast.  One moment you can hear their words and know they hear you back.  Then the next moment they no longer can talk with words and the living realize physical death is near.

Taking advantage of life while we have an opportunity is a lesson we learn every day.  The questions can be asked, do we really value our alive time?  Are we seizing the moments?  What are we doing with the life lessons we are learning?

I place a plea to you all not to live in regrets.  When you find yourself in that time frame of “it is all going so fast,” maybe you could be the one who says something like…”please don’t slow me down, I want this part to go So Fast!”

About jackiebates

Experience: Registered Nurse 31 years Hospice Nurse 6 years Certified Hospice Palliative Nurse 4 years Caring for the dying is a passion that continues to grow and motivate me in life. Their intimate situations has allowed me a unique opportunity to help facilitate what others and I can learn about real life. Please teach me, challenge me and help me help others. All material written is copywritten 2011
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5 Responses to So Fast

  1. Angela Bachler says:

    Hey girl! Love your posts! You should write a book! Oh yeah, you are. I love your insights! There isn’t much to say. Your words merely enter into heart of the reader and cause deep reflection. Don’t be discouraged if people don’t comment. Deep calls to deep and it’s difficult to verbalize a response at such a depth. Just know that your work is valuable and keep it up! You are amazing! Love you.

    • K Moss says:

      Jackie, I really understand “do not live in regrets”. If anyone every asks me for advice I always tell them “do not live w/any regrets”. That probably is a hard one if you have no life experiences to draw from. Kathy

  2. Teri (Peterson)Chauza says:

    Hey there! Love your blog! I admire you so much for the work that you do. It takes a very special kind of person.

  3. Patty says:

    I have witnessed this first hand with the recent passing of my grandmother. I watched the stages taking place and couldn’t believe that everyone follows the same path to the end.
    It takes a very special person to do what you do. Keep up the amazing work, it takes amazing people like you, doing what you do to help us through those final days with our loved ones. THANK YOU
    Would love a copy of the book when it’s finished and of course autographed.

    • jackiebates says:


      Have been reading this reply several times and realized I have not responded. Sorry about your grandmother passing away! You said you were “watching the stages” and so I have been hoping your got to feel the intimacy of life while you were there…same wish goes for your grandmother, that she felt the love and tenderness of gentle hands in the midst of a hard part of life. Where was she living?

      You’re funny about the book and autograph! Some one wrote a premature comment, but I am working on a guide for layman as they care for the dying at home. Pray for me and that my intentions become a helpful resource!


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